Why Is It That Every Time We Add the Word “Sex” To A Story About Advertising the Hit Rate Goes Crazy? No Matter, Now That You’re Here …

Philip Stone February 7, 2005

Men: The next time your wife gives you hell for leering at a picture of a voluptuous woman just tell her you are doing your job – you are studying to see if your corporate message would fit across the woman’s breasts. We won’t go into what the wife will answer, but, truth be told, companies are paying real money for human billboards and the advertising area includes breasts, tummies and heads.

Signed so far: A 27-year-old Scottish woman auctioned her size 42GG breasts (we are not going to do the metric conversion but just think Big) to have imprinted on them  for 15 days a waterproof ink tattoo of a gaming site’s url.  Price: £422. The auction, incidentally, attracted 370,000 hits over 10 days which is giving cause to the owners of this news site to contemplate new marketing ideas.

An American woman in Florida, eight months pregnant, has sold the message rights to her tummy in an auction for $4,050 to the same gaming site. Its temporary tattoo of its url has a fixed shelf life – the baby is due March 21.

An American student auctioned his forehead for $30,100 to carry for 30 days an ad for an anti-snoring medicine.

The GoldenPalace dot com web site is, of course, onto a winner.  For next to no money they have generated a great deal of news media coverage that would otherwise have cost millions.

They are even taking the pregnant lady to the Super Bowl in the hope that the hordes of media will send her picture, with the ad in plain site, around the world.

...no matter what shape...

Golden Palace dot com is not new to using unorthodox tactics at the Super Bowl. Last year it hired a young British male streaker to brandish its message across the playing field at the end of half time. He was tackled eventually by one of the players and carried off the field. But it all really came to nothing because just a few minutes before Janet Jackson had experienced her “wardrobe malfunction” and that is all the media really cared about.

"Males have a lot of trouble not looking at breasts. What is worse, males cannot look at breasts and think at the same time. In fact, scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. This was proved in a famous 1978 laboratory experiment wherein a team of leading male psychological researchers at Yale deliberately looked at photographs of breasts every day for two years, at the end of which they concluded that they had failed to take any notes. 'We forgot,' they said. 'We'll have to do it over.'"
Dave Berry - humorist